Results 21 to 22 of 22 | « previous
- Fawning : why the need to please makes us lose ourselves -- and how to find our way back / by Clayton, Ingrid,1974-author.;
"From a clinical psychologist and expert in complex trauma recovery comes a powerful guide introducing fawning, an often-overlooked piece of the fight-flight-freeze reaction to trauma -- explaining what it is, why it happens, and how to help survivors regain their voice and sense of self. Most of us are familiar with the three F's of trauma -- fight, flight, or freeze. But psychologists have identified a fourth, extremely common (yet little-understood) response: fawning. Often conflated with "codependency" or "people-pleasing," fawning occurs when we inexplicably draw closer to a person or relationship that causes pain, rather than pulling away. Do you apologize to people who have hurt you? Ignore their bad behavior? Befriend your bullies? Obsess about saying the right thing? Make yourself into someone you're not ... while seeking approval that may never come? You might be a fawner. Fawning explains why we stay in bad jobs, fall into unhealthy partnerships, and tolerate dysfunctional environments, even when it seems so obvious to others that we should go. And though fawning serves a purpose -- it's an ingenious protective strategy in unsafe situations -- it's a problem if it becomes a repetitive, compulsory reaction in our daily lives. But here's the good news: we can break the pattern of chronic fawning, once we see it for the trauma response it is. Drawing on twenty years of clinical psychology work -- as well as a lifetime of experience as a recovering fawner herself -- Dr. Ingrid Clayton demonstrates WHY we fawn, HOW to recognize the signs of fawning (including taking blame, conflict avoidance, hypervigilance, and caretaking at the expense of ourselves), and WHAT we can do to successfully "unfawn" and finally be ourselves, in all our imperfect perfection"-- Provided by publisher.- Subjects: Interpersonal relations.; Psychic trauma.; Stress (Psychology);
- Available copies: 1 / Total copies: 1
-
unAPI
- You don't have to quit : 20 science-backed strategies to help your loved one drink less / by Palmer, Maureen,author.; Pond, Michael,1953-author.;
Includes bibliographical references and index.A paradigm-shifting approach to caring for someone who drinks too much that will transform your relationship, and may save your partner's life. Steeped in a culture that glorifies drinking while new health regulations suggest no level of alcohol consumption is risk-free, more and more people are struggling with excessive alcohol use and alcohol use disorder. Their loved ones want to help, science tells us they are best positioned to help, but the culture discourages this and in fact shames and blames those who want to help. Counter to everything you've ever heard, you're not a codependent or an enabler for wanting to help. You've seen your beloved person drunk. Maybe a lot. There are few human experiences less dignified. And then in your attempts to get them to quit, you may have inadvertently overlaid a layer of shame and humiliation perhaps almost as destructive as the alcohol. The more frustrated you get because they won't quit, the more your reptilian brain runs the show, the less dignified you may find yourself behaving. What if, instead, you assumed the goal of "any positive change" as it relates to your partner's drinking. What if, rather than total abstinence, together, you found a way to reduce the harms associated with their alcohol use? The word "reduce," rather than "quit," is key, because a harm reduction approach to alcohol bests your chances that you both come out the other side of this process successful with your dignity intact. In You Don't Have to Quit, Maureen Palmer offers you twenty shame-free strategies for supporting your loved one to make healthier choices related to their alcohol use. It all starts with taking care of yourself, letting go of the wretched and pervasive ideology of codependence, and valuing positive change, even in small increments. The twenty tips offered here maximize your chances of maintaining your dignity as individuals, further bolstering the strength of your relationship.- Subjects: Alcoholics' spouses.; Alcoholics; Alcoholism; Controlled drinking.;
- Available copies: 1 / Total copies: 1
-
unAPI
Results 21 to 22 of 22 | « previous